I still love you
no I don’t.
I’m so confused. why did this happen.
I want you to be happy. if this is what it takes then I’m okay with it. be happy. for me. please.
don’t you ever give up.
I kind of hate you for leaving me.
but I still love you.
I won’t look at you in person but I talk to you in my head
you’re a better listener this way.
maybe if I wasn’t so fucked up this wouldn’t have happened
no. it’s not my fault.
but it kind of is.
I hate this
I don’t know who I am without you.
why can’t things be like they were before
please come back to me. I need you. you need me.
we are so goddamn bad for each other it’s beautiful. I’m addicted to our heartbreak.
I went through our old messages. I cried because you promised to always be there. you lied.
you smiled at me in the hall today. i thought my chest was being ripped open
I’m glad you’re smiling though.
this is really selfish but
why can’t mental illness be like any other kind of sickness where you go to hospital and your loved ones come and give you flowers and tell you that they love you and hold your hand and make sure you get better
why doesn’t that happen instead of awkward silences and embarrassing tears and messy bedsheets and a bunch of other stuff no one actually talks about
w h y
I can’t find a single selfish thing in that.